I Wish I'd Met You Before
by xonceinadream
Summary: Blaine is Sebastian and his husband's nanny. After a date that didn't go well with his husband, Sebastian comes home and he and Blaine have a talk.


**Written for Prompt #13 First Kiss at Seblaine Sunday Challenge on Tumblr. Strong potential for a sequel but we'll see if I can manage one.**

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Blaine is sitting on the couch, laptop on his lap, feet kicked up on the coffee table and the news playing softly on the television when Sebastian and his husband come home. The kids are asleep already although Melinda hadn't seemed to want to go to sleep. Jason slams the door behind him and Blaine winces. After being the Smythe's nanny for as long as he has, he knows that their marriage isn't going well and the excessive date nights don't seem to be helping.

Before Sebastian is even properly into the apartment, Jason has already grabbed his coat and is back out the door, trying to slam it again but Sebastian grabs the handle. "Our children are _sleeping_," he snaps and Jason just gives him a glare, dropping his hand and leaving.

"Want to talk about it?" Blaine asks as Sebastian sinks onto the couch next to him, closing his laptop and looking over at the other man.

Sebastian shakes his head, his hands coming up to loosen his tie and he throws it across the room, displaying the anger that he so obviously feels. Blaine is sympathetic. He knows how hard that Sebastian has been trying and he wishes that he could do something to help. Even the kids have felt the tension although Blaine has tried to reassure them. "He's an asshole. I think… I think I'm going to file for divorce."

Biting his lip, Blaine looks down at his hands in his lap as Sebastian just sits, staring straight ahead. "I'm really sorry. I know you guys have been trying to work it out."

"He hasn't tried to work anything out," Sebastian says, shaking his head and sighing as he glances over at Blaine, immediately turning back to face the wall. There's a tense silence for a moment as Blaine packs up his things, knowing that now that Sebastian is home, he should leave. Sometimes Blaine doesn't, though, not right away. On days that Sebastian comes home before Jason, the two will sit and talk for hours at a time. Blaine had never imagined, when he'd taken his first job as a nanny when his music career had been on the verge of crash and burn and he'd refused to accept any more money from his parents, that he'd find somebody he connected with as well as he does Sebastian.

Blaine finishes shoving everything in his bag, not able to delay it any longer and he stands up. "Well you need to do what's best for you and your kids. You know I don't like… saying anything about the kids but… they are recognizing the tension between you two."

"You don't have to go," Sebastian says with a sigh, pulling off his dinner jacket and laying it over the back of the couch. Blaine remembers how his breath had caught when Sebastian had come out of the bedroom, fully dressed in his outfit for the date. For a moment, Blaine had wished that it was him but he knows that he just _can't_ wish that. Sebastian is married even if he's probably going to divorce soon. They can always reconcile. Blaine's not that kind of guy. "I'm sure Jason won't be back tonight. You can crash on the couch. I'd say the guest bedroom but… just in case. I'm sure Jason will go in there."

Biting his lip, Blaine honestly considers it. He'd like to stay. He loves Sebastian and Jason's apartments, loves waking up with the kids because they're always so excited to see him in the morning. It helps that he normally makes them breakfast whereas Sebastian is much less of a morning person and when he's in the mood for breakfast, he'll just take them out. Blaine doesn't really know what Jason would do because he's never around on mornings that Blaine is.

"I can't really. I just… I need to get home." Blaine has discussed it with people he knows, how at home he feels around Sebastian and his children and his friends have all agreed. He has to take a step back. He's not the kind of guy that just goes around and lusts over married men. Of course, a part of him wonders if it really is just lust but he refuses to think of anything else. Blaine's record isn't perfect. He's had his crushes on straight guys and guys he realizes too late have boyfriends. But he can't be in love with somebody who is married. He refuses to accept that.

Sebastian seems to deflate, nodding and looking down at his fingers. There's a look that Blaine imagines is disappointment but maybe that's another reason for Blaine to step back. After all, if they're both feeling it then they can't act on it for no other reason than the kids don't need to be put through that. It's not fair to the children. Somehow that doesn't seem to register as Blaine sits back down, dropping his bag next to the couch. "Thought you were going home."

Shrugging, Blaine taps his fingers against the arm of the couch, picking at a spot of some kind of dried food on the fabric with his thumb. When Blaine had first started babysitting for Sebastian and Jason, back when it was just irregular date nights as opposed to their full-time nanny and when they'd only had one daughter, they'd had much nicer things. Glass vases around the house, leather couches and electronics that had made Blaine cringe when he'd come inside.

The very first day he was there he'd completely baby-proofed the house even going so far as taking Melinda out to the store to buy covers for the electrical outlets. It hadn't been until Melinda was four and Robin was one and they were both constantly spilling that they'd replaced most of the furniture although Sebastian still sometimes whines about that.

"Well I figure you guys could use somebody to make you breakfast in the morning," Blaine says nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders and giving Sebastian a small smile.

Sebastian turns to him, his face an odd mix of gratefulness and something that Blaine isn't sure he wants to know. "Why are you so perfect?"

The questions makes Blaine's heart stop and his breath catch, his fingers digging into the arm of the couch. "What?"

"You heard me. I don't know how I couldn't have met you earlier. I married Jason because I got him pregnant when I was 22 and my parents were still paying for college. I thought it wouldn't matter if I got married. He _knew_ that that's the only reason that I married him and yet he expected this to be a real marriage. Do you know how hard that I've tried, Blaine?" Sebastian turns to Blaine and Blaine feels his heart clenching at the pain that's on Sebastian's face. He had known that they'd gotten married because Jason was pregnant with Melinda but he hadn't heard Sebastian's thoughts on it.

"Sebastian…"

Sebastian shakes his head. "No, let me continue. I've- I never was the type of person to date and woo and romance but I did it for him because I didn't want my kids to live in a house where we were only together because of them. That's what my parents were. They were married because they both came from high-class families and they never fit well. And now I'm doing that to my kids. I don't want them to grow up like I did."

As Sebastian sits back, Blaine just stares at him. He's talked a lot with Sebastian about a multitude of topics but he's never quite heard Sebastian be so open with him. He's not sure that Sebastian is ever so open with people and Blaine feels a surge of pleasure at Sebastian trusting him with information like that. "They're happy. They know that you love them and-"

"I'm going to file for divorce. I really am. I can't do this anymore. I've done everything that I can think of and he doesn't seem to care anymore. I can't keep doing this to myself or the kids. I'm hoping you'll continue to watch the kids? They… they really adore you, Blaine."

Blaine reaches out without thinking about it, resting his hand on top of Sebastian's and he's surprised when Sebastian turns his hand to slide his fingers through Blaine's. "Of course. I love your kids. I'll always continue being here for you guys."

Sebastian nods, looking back at the wall and the two just sit there, holding hands. Blaine wants to fidget, wants to ask Sebastian what they're doing and figure things out. Instead, he sits in silence and lets Sebastian think. He's just turning to ask if Sebastian would like to talk about anything else when Sebastian turns. Their lips catch, dry and almost uncomfortable. Blaine is about to pull back, assuming that it's a mistake but then Sebastian tilts his head, his tongue darting out and suddenly they're actually kissing and he realizes that that's what Sebastian had been planning.

For a very long moment, Blaine freezes, knowing that he should pull away. Sebastian is married. But he can't. Sebastian's lips are so perfect against his and he reaches a hand up to rest on Sebastian's shoulder, letting himself move in closer as Sebastian reaches up to cup his cheek, thankfully with his right hand so that Blaine can't feel his wedding ring.

The kiss doesn't last long but Blaine feels like he can't breathe when they pull back. He keeps his eyes closed for a moment, cracking an eye open when he feels Sebastian breathing against his lips and he has to smile when he sees that Sebastian only pulled back far enough that they could breathe. "You have no idea how long that I've wanted to do that, Blaine. Going on four years now."

"I've only been working for you for four years," Blaine responds, his words coming out shaky as the full reality of this starts to set in. He just kissed his married employer. He just kissed his married with two daughters who Blaine adores employer. He just kissed his married with two daughters who Blaine adores employer and he loves it and wants to do it again.

Sebastian's lips twitch and then he's smirking in a way that makes Blaine have to sit back to keep from kissing him again, fingers clenching in midair. "I'm aware of that."

Then they're kissing again. Their second kiss is so much easier than their first. Sebastian pulls at Blaine, urging him into his lap and Blaine lets Sebastian's tongue between his lips, feels Sebastian's teeth and Sebastian catches each sound that Blaine makes into his mouth. Their fingers explore, in each other's hair, down each other's chests and they both tense as Blaine rocks his hips down against Sebastian's, both of them quickly getting caught up in the sensations.

Blaine whimpers low in his throat, turning his head to rest his forehead against Sebastian's shoulder and closing his eyes. Sebastian strokes his hair soothingly, his other arm wrapped around Blaine's waist. "You're married. Oh god, Sebastian, you're married and we're- We can't."

"I see you're making no move to get off my lap," Sebastian says teasingly, immediately shaking his head and tightening his hold on Blaine as Blaine tries to do just that. "No, wait. I was just joking. Please. Please stay with me."

Blaine swallows hard but he nods, settling down in Sebastian's hold. "I still mean what I said. You're married and we can't."

Sebastian shrugs, his fingers climbing up the back of Blaine's shirt and Blaine shivers, grabbing Sebastian's wrist to pull his hand away because he can't concentrate when Sebastian is touching him. "Well I'm getting a divorce. Will you wait?"

It takes a few blinks before Blaine can even form words, his heart pounding in a way that Blaine is sure that Sebastian can feel. "You mean it?"

"Yes," Sebastian says simply. Blaine looks at him suspiciously though and Sebastian sighs. "I already told you that I'm not good with this romantic stuff. But I want you, Blaine. I have for years now. You're amazing with my girls and I get along with you. If I had met you when I was a teenager then who knows what would've happened. I wish I'd met you before I got married but I can't change that. All I can do is get a divorce and hope that you'll still want me afterwards."

Blaine stares at him, letting out a breath and he leans in to kiss Sebastian. It's softer this time, hesitant but Sebastian kisses him back at the same pace, looking at him seriously when he pulls away. "I don't want you to get a divorce for me."

Sebastian shakes his head, his hands gentle on Blaine's sides as he looks at the other man. "I'm not. I've told you that Jason and I are having problems. That's why we're getting a divorce. He wants one anyway."

"Then I'll wait," Blaine promises. He doesn't even really have to think about it because Sebastian is all that he's wanted for a long time. He knows what he wants at this point and he wants Sebastian. A divorce won't be too much to wait through. He's waited four years. He can wait a little bit longer.

Especially since Sebastian seems to have taken this as permission that kissing is okay. "We're going to be okay," Sebastian whispers against Blaine's lips. He has no choice but to believe him.


End file.
